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Daniela Dietz

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Daniela Dietz

Nude Girls

Old people have invented a particularly creative term for sending nude photos of yourself to your fellow students: sexting. And because they’re not exactly thrilled about us showing each other our primary and secondary genitals, there are always educational and media campaigns to warn and discourage us from sending our own exposed bodies across the Internet. Since we are all aware of the benefits of such initiatives, namely none at all, and that professors, who are always loudly and publicly outraged, probably jerk off themselves first when they discover photos of their own students on the Internet, here are some valuable tips for digital nude photos – so that you don’t end up looking too stupid when half the campus gets their hands on them.

Every few weeks, the internet pours out more bad than respectable nude leaks of some mostly third-rate celebrities who look as if a paparazzo had just frightened them through the bathroom window while taking a shit. Bad light, even worse pose, worst resolution. Who wants to go down in history like that? If you take the trouble to show off your uncovered body, you must celebrate it in a way that blows everyone else’s mind and never again questions yourself and your views on life.

So beware of quickly making any filthy pictures of your breasts with bra marks or of your pussy covered with stubble, lint and white snot. Put on make-up, style yourself, wash yourself and your hair. And shave if you’re not one of those girls who celebrate the warming bush and don’t want to look like a grade school girl down there. Just try a little harder, because you don’t want to make the same amateurish mistake as so many other gullible people before you and, worst of all, you don’t want to be forced to do nudes in the most inhuman way between two important dates, which you can only feel sorry for afterwards. Because regret is a terrible feeling.

Nothing is more embarrassing than a naked picture of you looking like an 80s porn star. Don’t throw make-up and lipstick in your face, don’t pose as if a horse from another dimension is about to run into you from behind and don’t lick your drooling mouth lasciviously. Nobody wants to see that! The more natural you look the more sexually attractive you feel and are to others. Stand or lie down normally, look sexy but not exaggerated, and refrain from stupid gestures like duckface, poses from movies or the peace sign stretched into the camera.

If you look sexy in a natural and self-confident way, even in nude pictures, you gain the respect of the viewer as well as your own. Literally everyone is able to undress and make pictures of themselves. But bringing out the magic of someone’s naked body is something that very few people can do. Even girls with the most beautiful aura, the brightest eyes and the hottest smile have already stumbled upon one thing: A room peppered with rubbish. Because in the photos that you blow into the world like this, not only yourself can be seen, but also your relentlessly portrayed open life.

Dirty underwear mountains on the floor, filthy bottles full of Mountain Dew on the cluttered desk, old pink teddy bears on the cupboard, embarrassing children photos of your preschool years on the wall and, best of all, your vibrating best friend on the bed – by sexting you sometimes confess more to the world than you want to. So either make sure you find a place in your room that doesn’t look like World War III has just broken out, or escape to another room – preferably the bathroom. And if you decide to take a picture of yourself through a mirror, clean it first! Streaks and stains have been the absolute doom of many sisters before you.

Anyone who, for whatever reason, still runs around with his flip-up and almost falling apart Razr from Motorola knows how shitty some built-in mobile phone cameras can be. And everything you photograph with it looks like shit. Which means for you: Your body looks like shit. Either you use the latest technology for sexting, i.e. the brand new iPhone, a very good Android gadget or an expensive SLR camera, or the exact opposite: analogue, i.e. the good old Polaroid format, which makes you look even more creative. Sexting? No: It’s fuckin’ art!

Pixelated pictures of your cunt may hide some details, but basically it only means one thing: In the end everybody knows that you sent nude pictures. The only problem is: You look like 2003 on them. And you really don’t want to do that to yourself. Or anyone else out there. If you’re doing a nude selfie for the first time in your life, you might be a little overwhelmed with the possibilities of exposure. How much do I show? What do I show? How close do I show it? Does my face have to be on it? Is someone out there fetishizing my oddly shaped feet?

First of all: photos of your body, on which you have cut off your face due to an apparent anonymity, seem to be the most logical at the beginning, but the real eroticism unfolds only when your eyes can be seen. They are the key to digital and, if we are honest, analog sexuality. But you don’t have to cram a whole mutated zucchini through your extended labia deep into your uterus with your legs spread wide apart to attract even the slightest bit of attention. Start small, show only one nipple at first – and if you feel comfortable afterwards, maybe more. Don’t let yourself or your horny counterpart rush you.

Yes, the temptation is huge to just brush away your full-grown fat rolls, stretch marks or the cellulite that suddenly appeared after the pictures were taken with Photoshop, Facetune or Afterlight, but the problem is that you’re just not great with any of those apps. In the end the background bends or the colors don’t fit or your body looks like a cartoon character – and that’s embarrassing. Plan ahead before you take the pictures so that all the problem areas that you might want to hide are not necessarily visible. And find an advantageous pose in which your whole belly doesn’t stick to the chair or both of your sagging breasts, for whatever reason you already have them, swing left and right.

If you want, you can either use an Instagram filter to adjust the contrast and color levels to make you look better, or go for black and white. If your little brother then finds your pictures on the Internet, you can at least say in your defense that you took them for an art project. Or something like that. It’s best to take as many photos of you as possible, with different facial expressions, poses, angles. Once with and once without self-timer, once from near, once from far. Afterwards you can choose in peace and quiet which pictures you want to release and which ones will be deleted.

Be very careful and pay attention to every imaginable detail in the selected photos. Because you have to consider: Each of these little time bombs can theoretically be exactly the picture that bites you in the ass in a couple of months or years – and you have to be able to stand by it one hundred percent. It’s best to delete all the original pictures you don’t need from your camera, your mobile phone and your computer forever. And your USB sticks, and your CDs, and your floppy disks. And from the cloud. So that the whole folder “My Pussy 2020” won’t appear on the next university computer in the end.

If you’re already a bit advanced in this area, you’re welcome to become more creative. At some point, you’ll get tired of standing in front of your mirror and taking blunt full-screen photos of your stature one after the other. Selfies can be so much more exciting than that. Whether you’re driving to the nearby forest to sit in white socks on a tree, taking an unprecedented nudist trip through Southeast Asia, or pressing yourself into your favorite nerd costume just to have a clear view of what’s going on in the right places: sexting can be fun!

And you don’t have to be alone with the camera – get your very best friends, your current lover or your just recently popped out kitten, as long as you don’t do anything forbidden with the little bundle – that won’t go down very well with the masses out there. Whomever you send the photos in the end, you can be sure: Sooner or later they will show up on the internet! Either because your ex-boyfriend is mad at you and uploads revenge porn on YouPorn in a horny moment, because the constant synchronisation with your devices automatically sucks every little piece of crap into the net – or because you simply publish the wrong picture on Facebook.

Therefore three things are especially important. First: You must not have a problem with other people seeing you naked – whether it’s your colleagues, your friends or your family. Second: You have to be sure that you only send photos that you stand a 100 percent behind. And third: Be mentally prepared for it. It’s not the end of the world if total strangers see your tits. After all, 50 percent of the world’s population and quite a few fat guys also have breasts (and mostly uglier ones…) – and even a pussy is nothing special. Don t let you be bullied either! Most people who bullshit you have the most problems with themselves. It’s best to ignore them and live a more sexually fulfilling life with a new experience in your mental luggage.

Buy Books about Sexting on Amazon

Illustration by Amedeo Modigliani
Category is Life while topics are Girls, Internet, Nudes, Photography and Sex
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One Day in Kyoto

Kyoto is a truly magical place, you can feel it on every corner, on every street, on every bridge. Whoever enters the old imperial city is transported to a different time with each step. Modern manga shops border on old, small pubs and restaurants. Beautiful geishas float through brightly flashing shopping centers. Traditional temples sit enthroned above chic skyscrapers.

The metropolis, which was the seat of the imperial Japanese court from 794 to 1868, is located about 400 kilometers southwest of Tokyo in the central west of the main Japanese island of Honshu, about ten kilometers southwest of Lake Biwa and about 40 kilometers from Osaka. According to the classic Chinese geomancy, Kyoto is laid out like a checkerboard. The center and the south are the economic heart of the city. Some of the tourist sights are in the center, but most of the famous temples are in the north.

In the center of Kyoto city, there is a beautiful food market named Nishiki Food Market which maintains the dining table of the residents and is affectionately called Kyoto’s Kitchen. In the shops of the covered arcade you can find everything from Japanese pickles, tea, sweets and tofu to ceramics and other traditional goods. Since many shops offer take-out, try some of the food at the market.

At the eastern end of the Nishiki Market is the Nishiki Tenmangu Shrine, which specializes in meeting the needs of those who are studying or doing business. Insert a coin to start the mechanized lion dancer who will choose your luck. The Japanese-English fortune of the Lion Dancer comes in two versions: one with your fortune and one with a traditional Japanese floral design.

Even within Japan it is rare to find a museum and library dedicated to manga. From precious post-war pieces to modern popular manga and international publications, the International Manga Museum in downtown Kyoto has collected some 300,000 different works. The building itself was renovated from an old primary school building. Inside the building, visitors can browse the “Manga Wall” with its huge collection of foreign and local manga and immerse themselves completely in the history of manga in time and space.

Shijo Street runs through the famous Gion entertainment district. Here you are sure to find numerous geisha houses and other traditional shops. Explore the shops that offer macha, a kind of bitter green tea, various sweets, traditional sweets and kimono accessories, all of which focus on the one street that truly captures the essence of Kyoto. At the eastern end of Shijo Street is the Yasaka Jinja Shrine, the face of Gion. The arcade leads from Keihan Shijo station to the western gate of Yasaka Jinja Shrine.

The Teramachi mall is full of variety, from youth clothing stores to second-hand books and drawings from the Edo period, also known as ukiyo-e. Many shops specializing in locally produced goods carry unique items such as samurai wigs. The northern part of Sanjo Street is lined with cafés and more traditional shops selling items such as tea and Japanese paper.

Gion Corner is a unique theater that features one-hour performances of seven professional performing arts from Kyoto – the classical comedy of Kyogen, Kyomai dance, the gagaku music of the imperial court, the Koto harp, Bunraku puppet theater, tea ceremony and flower arrangement. The Gion Corner is located in the Yasaka Hall on the north side of the Kaburenjo Hall of Gion, where geishas give beautiful presentations. There you can also experience a real tea ceremony and learn about the etiquette of the tea ceremony in a relaxed atmosphere, if you are interested. Since the explanations of the presentations are given in English, Gion Corner is very popular with tourists from abroad.

When you visit the Kifune-jinja shrine, you will be able to feel the presence of various gods and spirits. Forget the hustle and bustle of the city in the silence here, with the soothing murmur of the river splashing right beside you, and enjoy the relaxing feeling of the cool air coming from the river. The Kifune-jinja shrine has long been visited by people who pray for happiness and prosperity, for marriage and for the fulfillment of their wishes.

The Kifune Jinja Shrine is revered by the imperial household and is familiar to many people in Japan. It looks beautiful in the fresh green of spring, which is getting deeper every day, and the area is popular in the summer because of the food at the Kawa Doko Riverbank. The shrine is also popular for its flaming autumn foliage and the dramatic contrast of its red lanterns, which are covered with white snow in winter. If you want to dive deep into Kyoto, you should pay it a visit.

For a turn into the quirky, go to Konkai Komyo-ji Temple, not far from the famous Philosopher’s Walk in Tetsugaku-no-michi street and only a ten-minute walk from the Okazaki-michi bus stop of the Kyoto City Bus. The temple itself has an impressive two-story gate, and in the Mie-do Hall is a wooden seated statue of Honen, the founder of the Jodo sect of Buddhism. The temple’s beautiful gardens with sand paintings depict the lives of Honen and others associated with the founding of the temple. In autumn, the maple trees surrounding the temple ponds are reflected brilliantly in the waters.

Hidden within the temple grounds you will find this unusual statue of Amidha Buddha. This may not be what you think of when you imagine a Buddha statue with its traditional hairstyle of tight turns: This one has a head of curly hair so big that it almost looks like an Afro! It is said that this Amidha figure spent such an extraordinary amount of time devoting to his ascetic training and praying for the fate of mankind that his hair grew longer and wilder until it piled up high on his head. There are only 16 such figures in all of Japan. Try to take a picture of this unusual stone Amidha Buddha with his wild hair.

Fushimi is a part of Kyoto but it feels kinda different and nostalgic. In a good way. The Fushimi Inari-taisha Shrine and its magnificent one thousand vermillion gates are known around the world but the ward has quite a few more hidden gems. Located in the south of Kyoto, it has long played an important role as a transportation hub, connecting Kyoto and Osaka by river. Due to its abundant underground reserves of clear, high-quality water, Fushimi has also blossomed into a center for sake production, a tradition that continues to this day with more than 20 active breweries.

And then there is the famous Imperial Palace of Kyoto, which was the residence of the imperial family until the capital was moved to Tokyo in 1869. It is located in the Gyoen Park of Kyoto. Within the imperial palace grounds, surrounded by a covered clay wall, are the Seiryo-den, the Palace Hall, and the Kyogosho, the Small Palace, which are strongly reminiscent of this dynastic era. Except for five days in spring and autumn, when the Imperial Palace is open to the public, you must apply in advance to obtain permission to visit the palace.

If Tokyo is too loud, too crowded and too confusing for you, then you will love Kyoto. Everything is a little calmer and more relaxed here. And maybe a little more natural. The time-honored spirits of bygone eras seem to take care that the city does not lose its balance. Traditions can be found everywhere in Kyoto, but the colorful streets are neither dusty or antiquated. And even if you just take a walk on the Kamo, you will fall in love with Kyoto and its residents in a heartbeat.

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Buy Kyoto City Guides on Amazon

Photography by Marlen Stahlhuth
Category is Travel while topics are Asia, Fushimi, Japan, Kyoto and Photography
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